So this week, I was supposed to write Part II of taking pride in yourself. Here’s the dealio… Not gonna happen this week. I feel that there is a much more important thing to address:
Ever since my last relationship, I have been up and down with this, never really being able to stay consistent and dedicated; struggling with being able to practice what I preach so much to everyone about.
The past couple of weeks have been somewhat of a hell, not like in a bad bad way, just an accumulation of so much anxiety. Being in San Diego by myself, being 2,539 miles away from my family, has been a struggle for me. I LOVE San Diego. My heart has been stolen by San Diego, but for a girl who grew up at home, close to family up until the age of 24, this is the farthest I’ve ever lived away from them.
Last week, I felt hopeless as I get a message via text on my phone that merely said, “The ambulance is here” by my brother. My current family situation has me living across the country, my dad working in Arkansas, and my mother, brother, and sister-in-law living in Florida. I felt helpless as they took my mom to the ER for, what I feared, was a heart attack. Even though it wasn’t that serious and she was sent home that evening just fine, I felt helpless. I hate feeling helpless. Anxiety #1.
Then there’s been my social life. I’ve been extremely picky with men since my last relationship and I finally put myself out there to this guy I’d been talking to and hanging out with a couple times that I liked him and wanted to get to know him better, and he turns me down… well tells me he wants to take it easy right now. I have no idea where his head is at, but rejection sucks. It took a lot out of me to be even that honest with him, let alone myself, that I was actually ready to move on. But now, I get to let my mind overthink everything. Anxiety #2.
Then there’s finances… and work… and my dog. I feel like I never have enough money or enough time to do anything I really want or need to do. Anxieties #3, #4, and #5.
All the anxiety leads to lazy days. Sad days. Days where I don’t want to eat, I don’t want to go to the gym. They suck. Yesterday was one of them. All I wanted to do was sleep.
Here’s point one of my post this week:
- Even the best of us deal with things like anxiety and/or depression. I had someone tell me one time that it was just something I could control. Do you honestly think I haven’t tried? What I’m trying to say is, it’s totally normal. Some days are better than others, but it DOES NOT mean that things are impossible, it just means that sometimes you need to work just a little bit harder. But don’t let it discourage you.
So this morning, I received a text from an old high school friend of mine. We speak every now and again and he is the only person I have legitimately kept in contact with since high school. Long story short, I told him I was struggling, having a hard time staying motivated, and this is what he says to me:
It was in THAT moment, the moment I read it, that I felt anew. I put aside everything that had been weighing down on me, in that one moment, the moment I realized again my fire, my purpose, my passion, my WHY.
Which leads to my second point:
- Surround yourself with those that lift you up. Surround yourself with people who are positive and uplifting, who would never do anything to hold you back and help you realize your true potential. And as an individual, make sure that you are one of those people too. Make sure you are someone who lifts others up and EMPOWERS them instead of tearing them down or apart. Kind words and positive spirits serve as some of the most POWERFUL motivation.
And point numero tres:
- Remember your WHY. Why you do what you do. It doesn’t have to be fitness related. It could be why you do the job you do, why you’re in school, or why you go to church every Sunday. Just remind yourself everyday that you have a purpose and a reason. Everyone’s WHY is different. No two are the same and that is your truth. Own it and follow through with it.
Now that I’ve got that out of the way, yesterday I posted my weekly check-in on Instagram (@_victoriafit_).
“This week has been shitty. Worked four 12 hour days in a row. Ate shitty fast food and I could never be any more ready for the weekend and getting back on track than I am now. I am actually surprised by my numbers this week. Body fat percentage is up, obviously, but I DID put on 1.5ish pounds of lean mass this week. No idea how as I’ve only worked out maybe 3 times this week. Why am I telling you this? Because it’s real life. As I have said many times before, we all have a life to live and things get in the way. We all aren’t a 100% on our diets every week, and we aren’t constantly in the gym 7 days a week. A lot of us have jobs we need to do to make a living and sometimes we can’t be a 100%. But that doesn’t serve as an excuse to give up and to say that it can’t be done. Just because I had a shitty week, doesn’t mean that I’m done trying to achieve my goals. I just have to get back into my niche. I need to find what works for me, just as you need to find what works for you.”
Current Stats (as of yesterday morning):
▫Weight: 123.2 lbs (55.883 kg) [⬆ from 120.6 lbs]
▫Waist: 69.0 cm (27.165 in) [⬆ from 67.5 cm]
▫Hips: 83.5 cm (32.874 in) [⬇ from 84.5 cm]
▫Legs: 53.0 cm each leg (20.866 in) [⬆ from 52.0 cm]
▫Body fat: 17.6% (21.6 lbs fat mass, 101.4 lbs lean mass)
➡ Last week: 16.9% (2o.3 lbs fat mass, 99.7 lbs lean mass)
Don’t worry, next week I will most definitely have part II up for you. Just felt like I needed to do something thanking this week for everyone who has been so supportive and has continued to push me to fulfill my full potential, to help me remember why I do what I do.
UNTIL NEXT WEEK!